somebody has some explainin' to do

There are some things that need to be explained to me. Ok there are a lot of things that need to be explained to me but I'm not going to tell you all of them in this rather public forum.

I watched the President's address last night and that helped. I somewhat understand why we are in the mess we are in. What I don't understand is why somebody didn't see it coming. Well, I'm guessing lots of somebodies saw it coming and a lot more somebodies chose not to listen or not do anything about it. And I can understand that too. Laws are created only when the need arises. The need doesn't usually arise until a catastrophe strikes (i.e. 9/11).

But let's not get bogged down with failing economies and terrorist attacks. I've got some things on my mind that somebody needs to explain to me like why Scotch tape costs $3.50 for a tiny little roll. That's 3 dollars and 50 cents so my kids can tape up every piece of paper that touches their little hands to our walls. Think about how much Scotch tape is made everyday. Consider how much tape my kids go through (it's enough to make me break out in a sweat every time I have to buy it). Do they really need to charge that much for it? Is that sticky substance derived from oil or perhaps 18k gold? I think big companies like 3M that charge $4 for a 2x2 square of Post-It notes should pitch in and pay our 400 billion dollar bail out. Or at least send me some coupons.

And while we are on the subject of oil, why is it that corn oil costs $5 for 24 oz? How can that be? Isn't corn a relatively or maybe ridiculously abundant resource in the US? Have you noticed that just about everything you buy in a package at the grocery store has some derivative of corn in it? It's in our gasoline. It's probably in our shampoo too. Actually, I think my undies may be made with corn husks. They're kinda scratchy, but don't distract me.

That corn oil I bought for $5 might have actually been a vegetable blend oil like canola and corn oil. So, what is a canola? I know what a cannoli is and a cannellini. A cannoli is yummy and a cannellini is a bean. I have no idea what a canola is and why I want it's oil. It must be something that grows more than a mile beneath the earth's crust and we must have to drill to find it, then pump it out and refine it and then ship it across the entire country. Because I'm thinking it costs me $4 for a gallon of gas and $5 for 3 cups of some vegetable by-product. Someone explain that to me.