Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Stinkerella

Bras for plus size women? I love the ads that pop up on my blog. A couple days ago it was sugar-free margarita mix, intimate apparel and something about men wearing boys clothes. I don't get that last one. The others I get. I think Google Adsense has detected that Loan is already functioning on pure sugar and probably doesn't need anymore. I'm not sure about the plus size bras for women. I guess it sounds like we're making our own bras with place mats and a glue gun. It's an interesting thought but it doesn't sound like a comfortable one. But hey, like chaps and plastic vests are?

I finally have a minute alone at home. I think this might be the first one in two weeks since the kids got out of school. I'm hoping it will be more like 90 minutes. I started to dream about all I could get done while they were gone and realized 90 minutes wasn't going to cut it so I decided to just be decadent with my time and blog. Lucky you.

So the other night on my way to work I stopped at CVS to get some gum. After I had left my house I realized my breath was probably less than stellar so gum was a necessity. As I was checking out, the cashier, a guy, asked me if I'd been out in the sun. I answered that I had a little bit that day and asked "why, is my face red?" knowing it wasn't but wondering what on earth he was talking about. And he said "No, I can smell you." Yes, that's a direct quote. I didn't really know what to do with that information. Throw my arms up in the air and start sniffing my pits? It was an awkward moment there for a minute and then he said "You know, your uh SPF or uh sunscreen." I just nodded my head, thanked him (for telling me I stink) and left.

So now I'm thinking some strange guy just told my I smell and he was standing a good 5 feet away from me and I'm on my way to work and there's no time for a shower. Great. Do I really smell? And how bad is it? So when I got to my job I just smiled really big and stood up taller. Cause you know stink is less noticeable when you look confident.

3 comments:

Jill said...

Honey, don't worry. If you're wearing a smile, not much else matters (at least that's what my Mom always told me!). The ad today is for Shiny Pantyhose - those might look nice w/the placemat bras and the chaps?

Karen said...

So, then, I don't think it's a good idea for you to wear SPF (Stink Producing Factor) to any Bar-D Camp meetings. Where the hell is Loan!?!?!?

Karen said...

Ya know, Loan has been missing for quite a while. How are we supposed to have a Bar-D Camp meeting when she is awol? Who will teach us to pole dance and clog in cleats? How are we supposed to perfect our modeling skills without the book she is studying? We will never get to see if her love handles really clap on their own. Wait, scratch that comment. I don't think I want to. How are we going to get the t-shirts? I was really looking forward to learning how to remove pit stains. Loan, if you're out there, please contact us. Those jealous pole dancers are wimps. You can take them! Just kick them with your cleats. Or, better yet, show them your love handles when they are clapping. I'm sure they will be happy to let you go after that.