Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Being Broke - Priceless

I need a job. I don't want a job but apparently I need one. I hate that. Money has been flying out of this house like we have it. It's like it has wings. Flap, flap, flap. Pay for camp, 2 kids and 1 chaperone $235, flap, flap, flap. Pay one of four payments for kindergarten, $225, flap, flap, flap. Paying for gas for the past two weeks $175, flap, flap. Doctors appointments, flap. Groceries, flap, flap, flap. Some flies in and somehow more of it flies out. This is the law of Johnson finances. Try to save it and it flies away. Give up and don't try to save it - it still flies away. Stop thinking about it - flies away. Hold on to it like a crochety old man- bye, bye, fly away money! It was good seeing you again for five minutes!!

Obviously I have issues. Money is just one of them. I really can't go into all of them right now. Not even one of them. Not enough time to get all that out. However Isaac has an issue today. Just one so far as it's only 9:30am. It appears he has a loose tooth. I was hoping he would be a late tooth loser as he is totally disgusted by his sisters loose teeth. Everytime they have lost a tooth we've had a discussion about how it won't happen to him for a long, long time, not to worry. He just turned five three weeks ago! How could this happen! I'd like to quote Eva at this time: "Not fair!!"

In other news, my neice Emma broke her arm falling backward while swinging on our swingset Saturday night. It was a bit traumatic but overall could have been much worse. She has a lovely green cast now - good color choice Em. Maya and Eva handled it pretty well with just a few tears from Eva mostly because Emma had to leave a little early. Isaac was upset about it all and asked if he had to go to school tomorrow. For some reason trauma always makes him think about school. We talked about going to kindergarten next year and then he asked in a tearful voice "will I always stay at this family?" Where does he get these ideas!? Then I thought of his sisters. There's going to be an interrogation later.

He takes after his sister Eva with the whole joy of school thing. When we had our little earthquake a couple weeks ago I thought well, this will be a great way to get Eva up and out of bed, some exciting news like an earthquake. It's not everyday you can wake her up with something other than "hey, get up, you have to go to school". So I went into her bedroom shook her a little bit and said "hey, Eva guess what? We had an earthquake this morning! Isn't that just so cool?" She replied with much hope in her voice "Is the school gone?" Ummm, well, no. She moaned and covered her head in her blankets. Wow. I'm going to have to obliterate the whole school so Eva can have a good day. I can't afford that right now.

And last but not least. I'm going camping. Actually the 4th graders are going camping and I'm chaperoning. But let's face it - it's all about me. We're going down to FlatRock camp in Shelbyville Wednesday to Friday. I've heard the kids love it. They've been doing this for several years at our school. But again, it's really about me isn't it? We'll be in cabins and there are showers and all meals are cooked for you. But in my mind it's still camping. Sleeping with 8 ten year old girls and hanging out with 90 4th graders. yippee. I'm not there yet. I have till 8:45am tomorrow morning to jump on this wagon mentally. Maya's already packed. She's probably packed for me as well. She's like that. Motivated, perfectionist. I keep telling her there's no room in this family for someone who's got it all together. But she persists. I'll be yelling at Eva to get her stuff together for the eleventh time around 10pm tonight. And even though she's thrilled about going to camp (and not being at school for THREE WHOLE DAYS) she'll argue and fart around and I'll give up and do it myself. And for some reason I have to remind them that they are two very different people?!! And that they shouldn't compare themselves with each other?!! This is feeling like a therapist moment... Flap, flap, flap.....

Thursday, April 10, 2008


Procrastination can be a way of life. And I personally have tried to make it mine. But when one of your 10 year old daughters comes home from school and sums up the "growth" talk she heard that day at school into "mom, we really need bras", then maybe it's finally time to act.

Now, that was several weeks ago so I'm still a practicing procrastinator but after finally gettin' down to the nitty gritty and accepting the fact that is indeed "time" we have 6 more brassieres in the house that do not belong to me. It might have even happened sooner but Tim's denial of his daughters' impeding womanhood put it off just a little longer. At least that's my story.

There was an ad in the Meijer flyer for girls bras on sale so I asked Tim to, you know, just pick a couple up when he went to the grocery. He said "Uh, no." So I said, "Really, it's not a big deal can you just look for them?"
"Uh, no."
"Is it because it's girl stuff (which he's never shied away from buying feminine hygiene products for me mind you) or you just don't want to do it?"
"Uh, no."
So I'm starting to think he's not going to do it. So I let it drop. He obviously wasn't ready to make the leap never mind that I was trying to pawn it off on him in the first place.

Three weeks after that (it really is a way of life) I finally picked up some unmentionables at Meijer. As I was leaving the store my mini brassieres set the alarm off. How poignant.
The door lady wanted to check my receipt and I felt compelled to say something like, "My girls are just reaching puberty, they need bras, I've put it off, I'm a bad mom...." Luckily my frontal lobe kicked in and said "shut up Michelle, she just wants to see your receipt."

And finally after trying those initial bras on I then took the girls shopping like a good mom should at a fancy department store called Walmart. Two more stores and 20 bras later we had our winning six. To top it all off Isaac made an announcement when he was over at my parents house that the girls had to go upstairs to fix their bras because you know, they have bras now. My mom said my dad about fell out of his chair.

It's a new era. We'd better get used to it. No more bra-stination.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Sleepless in Indy

So it's been two weeks since I last blogged. It's our spring break now so we are at home spending some quality time with our Nintendo DS's. Isaac doesn't have one yet which is driving us all berzerk but he's getting one for his birthday which is Saturday. We may not make it until then however, I might break down and get one today as a matter of fact.

Tim was out of town last week for 4 nights and was gone again last night. Thank God he'll be home tonight. I have two kids that always, and I mean ALWAYS wake up in the middle of the night and want to get in bed with me. Well, who wouldn't?? The number of scary dreams in our house when dad is away is truly amazing. Last night however, Isaac was coming down with a cold as well. Perfect timing. So the night went something like this:
10:30 I turned out the light
12:30 Isaac woke up, he had wet the bed
12:50 I've cleaned up Isaac's bed and gotten him some medicine. I lay down in hopes of sleep.
1:00 No such luck. Maya's "mom is alone in bed" radar has gone off. Evidently she's had a scary dream. I see her coming and say something like "No way, go back to bed!" Then I follow up with the appropriate fix by whispering "Did you have a bad dream? Ok, you're fine. Go back to bed."
1:50 Isaac cries. I ignore him in the hopes it's just a dream.
3:14 Isaac appears beside my bed. "Mom my clock says 3,5,4, is it time to get up?" So I say" No Isaac it's definitely not and you're clock is off." "When can I get up mom" "In about 4 hours when your clock says 7,5,4."
3:15 Isaac appears with his blankie and sippy cup. I give in, "Ok, just get in my bed."
3:16 I make Isaac get his pillow.
3:17 Isaac has to get "mousey".
3:18 "No, Isaac it is not time to get up yet."
3:20 "Isaac if you don't go to sleep you're going back in your bed."
3:25 Isaac falls asleep with his head next to mine.
3:30 I can't sleep. I get up walk around the house and curse husbands and spring break. Take the trash out and eventually go back to bed.
8:00 Maya is up. Phoebe comes back and whines at me because she wants to go out. I let her out then go back to bed.
9:00 Isaac comes and asks when I'm going to get up. I do some quick calculations in my mind and figure I've gotten maybe 8 hours total sleep with lots of interruptions. The day must begin. Damn.