Friday, October 8, 2010

Aye, Aye, Aye...

Aye, aye, aye. Why did I think it would be a good idea to take all my kids to the doctor AT THE SAME TIME. I think if I point out the fact that Eva and Maya are 13 year old girls and Isaac is a 7 year old boy you might say to me "MICHELLE, WHY DID YOU TAKE ALL YOUR KIDS TO THE DOCTOR AT THE SAME TIME?"

In my defense... I'm just slow, I guess. And ok, it sounded like a timesaver.

So Isaac learned a new word yesterday - breast. This surprised me because unfortunately he is way to familiar with girl parts... and... things. Then I realized something. Perhaps we haven't used the correct terminology around our house. So I pointed to my own... um, breasts, and then said "You know them as boobs."

I could see the light bulb going off in his head.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

A Gloriously Bad Mom Moment

I'm pretty sure I live with the Odd Couple. Unfortunately I not only live with them but I chauffeur them around as well. The other night as we were leaving a volleyball game Eva (Oscar) and Maya (Felix) began to argue about some meaningless, pointless piece of information. I instantly jumped in to put a stop to it and told Maya (Felix) to be quiet and keep her opinion to herself as she was nitpicking. Maya (Felix) replied with "Mom I can't help it that I'm technical." I stifled a laugh (and a groan) and explained that picking something into miniscule pieces was beyond "technical" and it was going to drive me crazy.

And this happens ALL THE TIME now. It's worse in confined spaces. I now go out to the garage and do a few deep breathing techniques before I can get in my van to go pick up Eva and Maya. And Isaac (Dennis the Menace) is just as bad by the way. I didn't know there could be three sides to every story. And if he's not arguing with them he's arguing with me.

All of this vocal debating has put me in a whole different mind set. I told my mom yesterday that all the kids had a doctors appointment in the afternoon and shots would be given. Usually these appointments make me nervous and apprehensive because my empathy level runs a little high when my kids are going to experience any kind of pain. But yesterday I said to my mom "They're getting shots, all of them, HA!"

I bet the Beav's mom never said that.

Monday, September 13, 2010


Ahh. Monday. When I say "ahh" I really mean "ack it's Monday". We had a good weekend though. Friday night Tim took the kids to a high school football game. Saturday we worked around the house (very little) and ran errands in the afternoon. Sunday morning I let Tim take the kids to religious education then Target and then to the Y to play volleyball. How could it not be a great weekend?!!? I was sans kids for a good 40% of it.

Lately it's like living with triplets. Sure Maya and Eva are 13 and Isaac is only 7 but together they all equal "some-teen". Living with triplets who are "some-teen" is like living with the Bickersons. It's gotten to the point where the thought of getting in a confined space like the van with all of them makes a bead of sweat appear on my upper lip. It reminds me of the dog when she gets in the car, she gets nervous and she drools and starts licking her chops. I should just leave a sweat towel in the car for both of us.

Tim and I often pretend we are closing the invisible sound proof shield between the front and the back of the van. It doesn't work. Yelling over and over that you can't punch buggy someone on any car you want (ok, I might have started that one) gets really old after a while.

I hear the ages 13 to 16 are the hardest of the teen years. But what if one of them is seven? How does that work? I need a light at the end of this tunnel. Some-teen could go on forever. Ack.

Friday, September 10, 2010

Cleanliness, Godliness or PMS?

I decided this morning that I would get some cleaning done at home. I usually try to leave some basic things for the kids to do on Saturdays so they can earn their allowance and I can pretend like I'm not the maid, but I'm too fed up with it all. I just want it clean, minus the arguments, griping, and the foot stomping joy of attempting to raise well adjusted children.

I tell myself before I begin anything that I will not, I repeat NOT (and I totally almost mean it) clean the kids' rooms. First of all I could spend all day cleaning two bedrooms and second that would be my whole day. (That second one may sound a lot like the first. It is.)

They just cleaned this room 6 days ago. SIX DAYS AGO IT WAS CLEAN. It's the dressers completely covered in stuff that drive me crazy. Half of it is trash and half of it looks like trash. So maybe I'm overreacting. Maybe expecting to be able to see the tops of dressers that belong to two 13 year old girls is just asking too much. Maybe I have PMS. ( Ok, skip the maybe, but really, isn't that completely beside the point?)

So I may get some grief about posting a photo of their room on my blog. I've already got my pithy little comment prepared. Something like "Well, when I'm living in your house and I don't clean up my mess then you can take a picture of it and post it on your blog." HAH! I was pretty freaking satisfied when I thought that one up! And ahead of time too. But then I envisioned myself old and feeble with no bladder control, living with one of them.

I'm going to have to sock more away for the old people's home.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

The Start of School

This year the beginning of school has felt more like a tactical mission in military defense than the back to school tradition of educating three young minds. It's been 3+ weeks since school began and everyday (even on the weekends) I have hoped for a pair of those bullet deflecting gold cuffs that Wonder Woman used to fend off her evil nemeses so that I too may ward off evil ... things. Imagining myself in gold cuffs and a flying eagle bustier has done nothing to help in dealing with our many (mis)adventures(nor has it particularly helped with my body image since I know I can't fill out Linda Carter's wings), but maybe venting will. So here's the short list. I'm just using single words right now to get it all out. Maybe someday I'll expound upon them a little:

broken arm
volleyball tryouts
(unfortunately the above are in chronological order)
pay-to-play sports
air conditioner
money, money, money (I know, I cheated)
insurance donut
missed school
missed homework
teacher conference
damn insurance donut

Thursday, July 1, 2010

The Non-Dinner Dinner

My kids haven't seen the side of a vegetable in weeks. Any side. Not even from a distance. I know that when a vegetable finally appears on their plates it will be like seeing E.T. for the first time. Wide eyes followed by boisterous and repetitive (repetitive) verbal complaints. This siting will be followed by teeth clenching and eye ticks. (That'd be me.)

It wasn't an intentional omission. I am admittedly a slight health food fanatic. And when I say "fanatic" I don't really mean that. What I mean is I prefer a day doesn't go by without at least one vegetable slipping between the lips of my offspring. But our summer schedule hasn't given me much leeway in preparing a square meal since it seems we are more often than not at a swim meet. Most of our meals lately have consisted of some form of either melted cheese (nachos, pretzels and cheese, cheese on a hot dog) and some form of hot dog (hot dog, hot dog with coney sauce, hot dog with coney sauce and cheese, the aforementioned hot dog with cheese and corn dog). When we are at home my reflexes often bring me to the jar of spaghetti sauce in the cupboard and whatever I can find to put underneath it. I do believe however that spaghetti sauce could in some instances be considered a serving of vegetables. I really don't know that, I'm just kinda hoping. I'm also kinda hoping that ketchup and pickle relish fall in that same "almost a vegetable so you shouldn't feel like a guilty mom" category. You know that category. It's right next to the "I just ate my kids M&M sundae because I thought he wasn't going to eat it and then he wanted it" category.

But then there's this other small factor and that is that the cook has totally lost her desire or just plain will to cook (probably due from a lack of greens and an excess of caffeine). So any night that we are at home I ponder for hours about the "non-dinner" I'm going to create for dinner. Last night it was ham or roast beef sandwiches (which I didn't have to "cook" by the way, Tim did it). Tonight it's hot dogs and tuna melts for the adults. (Which by the way also contains some celery along with the nutritious pickle relish.)

Usually after a spell of "non-cooking" I gain back the desire to cook or at least the desire to eat something that doesn't come straight out of a box or plastic wrapper. But I'm honestly not feeling it. And I happen to be pretty in tune with my feelings, especially the non-cooking ones.

Tomorrow's menu: ham wrapped around a hot dog covered in cheese with a side of ketchup and pickle relish. Mmmmm....yum!

Monday, January 25, 2010


I'm not cooking chicken tonight. I'm cooking salmon. No chopping involved. It's thrilling.

It's a gray day today. Except now we have a little bit of snow on the ground. So if I were to take a picture right now it would look like a black and white photograph. Very, very depressing. That's why I have a lovely new background. Isn't it refreshing? It's like spring. It's fresh and springish. Springish freshness. Green and fresh and, eh, I'm still depressed.

I might as well go cook some chicken.