Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Lazy, Hazy Days of Summer

Ok. I'm on a lot of people's $#@! list. I can take it. Just don't tell me I have clown feet. That's low. Also true, but still really low.

I've been a little busy and obviously I've neglected my blog. I think to say I've been psycho, out-of-mind, who's going to come do the laundry?! busy would be more accurate. If I can get the breakfast dishes in the dishwasher the same day we had that breakfast then I'm doing ok. Lately I haven't been doing ok. There have been a few days when I've come home and wondered what breakfast was on the dishes because it was becoming unrecognizable.

But the kids have had a great summer. Ok, an awesome summer if I do say so myself. They have participated in every activity possible that was either free or so cheap I couldn't pass it up. Isaac has particularly enjoyed car camp. That was where he road in the back of the van all summer to Maya and Eva's various activities. I however have developed car lag. That's where after 5 hours of driving to 8 different locations I either need a nap or a smoke. I have a nice napping habit now. I also have a habit of waking up every morning at 4am which makes me wonder if smoking is really that bad for you.

I think we've all gained some insights this summer. The girls are enjoying more sports activities and building a little confidence. Maybe even a little muscle. Isaac is O.C.D. about "working". Actually he's just O.C.D. but this is his big focus now. The boy has to have a job, preferably one that involves either money, writing, telling someone what they are doing wrong or heating up hot pretzels. And really he just generally wants to boss people around. I've had to remind him several times this summer who the boss really is in our house. He looks at me like I'm telling him a bad joke. And I can tell he's just humoring me by not arguing with me. So I'm not really sure who the boss is here but I'm pretending it's me.

And finally I've learned a most insightful lesson. That no matter how old your kids are they still can't leave you alone in the bathroom for five minutes. I have endured 2 months of interrupted potty time before I realized that there was a pattern. How can a person be in a locked bathroom for five minutes and all three of her children NEED to talk to her through the door with the fan running (it's suppose to be a deterrent, I don't really NEED a fan.) twice, each? How is that possible? And are they thinking of questions to ask me with the most possible syllables so that I will either come to the door so that I can hear them or so that I'll just say "yes". "Mooommmmm! Can blu blah bleet-blue-blah with cah-bleh-glah-blue-glah at big-a-boog-bah-blah?"

I've edited my answer from the beginning of summer which was "Hold on a minute, I'll be out in a sec." To "Go Away! Leave me alone." But this last week of summer always sends me over the edge so I'm sure by Sunday I'll be saying "If you knock on that bleeping door one more time I'm going to remove all of your bleeping appendages from your bleeping body and you'll never go blu-blah bleet-blue-blah with cah-bleh-glah-blue-glah again!!"

That seems fair.


Karen said...

I totally get the same bathroom interruptions. I went on a nice walk last night and needed to use the restroom when I came home. The minute I closed the door, my daughter (who happens to be 14, almost 15, so sorry Lichelle, but it doesn't get better when they get older) comes to the door and asks if she can do blah blah blah with her friend. And I said, "Why is it that the minute I sit down to pee, you have to ask me a question that can obviously wait until I'm done". It's never an emergency and no one is dying so leave me the bleep alone!

By the way, guess who I saw today? Loan! No, I'm not joking. She is still alive! I thought those jealous pole dancers let her go months ago, but I was wrong. They only just released her last week. I believe they were her grandchildren (they started dancing young-they want to follow in her footsteps). Now, we can have an official meeting of Bar-D Camp and Loan can come too! Where are we going to meet next?

Michelle said...

You've saddened me Laren with your tale of your daughter. They must think they are going to get away with something by talking through a bathroom door. They'll be 34 before they're not trying to get away with anything.

And Loan is ALIVE!!! It's a miracle. I like the grandchildren excuse. Wish I could use that one. Oh,wait, I have CHILDREN. She should have just gone with the being kidnapped by jealous non-clogging pole dancers.