Thursday, August 14, 2008

Angst, Stirrups, Piercings and Copayments

I think this title would be a good chapter title in my book. I'll get right on that.

The kids are home from school. Hence, the angst. Eva wasn't home 5 minutes before we had tears over homework. Help me out here. I don't know what to do?! I understand that she needs a break and wants to go out and play but I KNOW that we'll be up till 10 o'clock with tears trying to get it done. I called her teacher and left a message. My plan is to cry on the phone to her (and her other two teachers) to not give my daughter anymore homework for the rest of the year. Whew! I feel so much better now that I have a plan.

Maya seems to be doing fine with the new school. Maya is a fairly easy going kid and doesn't have much trouble with anything in particular. When she's sixteen she'll run off with the lead singer from some garage punk band and acquire many piercings and we'll all be really surprised. But right now she's not much trouble and (the Johnson requirement of an "easy" child) requires few co-payments.

Isaac has always required many co-payments. God love him. He's his own man though despite his various physical perplexities. He seems to be in his zone as far as school goes. He did say on the second day that some boy called him a baby. I responded by saying "It's ok honey, tell me his name and I'll kick his ass." (Ok, not really but my tongue was bloody from biting it.) I let his teacher know what was going on and she called to let me know there was another boy trying to pick on him at recess. This is when I realized sending a boy to school is much different than sending a girl to school. His school years are going to be challenging in a different way. In a "he's only 3ft and 32 lbs. and 5 inches shorter than everyone" kinda way. It might be time for some Tae-Kwon-Do and some growth hormones.

Speaking of hormones I went to the gynecologist today. (Like me segue?) I told my sister Colleen on the phone about my upcoming appointment and she responded by saying "oh, I'm sorry." And you know, that's really all you want to hear when you go to the girl doctor. You just want a little empathy from someone who knows about stirrups and a cold metal speculum. (This blog is not for the squeamish.) She meant it and I knew she meant it. That's probably why I threatened to cut Tim's yahoos off last night when I told him about my appointment. There just was no sympathy. I guess he really can't help it being a man and all. It try not to hold that against him. That's why there should be a male equivalent to a gynecological exam. To promote more harmony in our marriages. Someone needs to invent that. Include the stirrups, angst and shoot throw in a piercing or two!! But hold off on the co-payment please.

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