Monday, May 18, 2009

Yes, What The "L"??

Holy "L"!! You women need constant supervision. I'm ashamed to say I've been neglecting my blogging duties. (Hey Loan, that's duty not doodie.) Someone needs to be in charge here and keep you women in line and gosh-dilly-dang-it I guess that's me. Responsibility gives me a rash.

So let's review while I scratch myself. Loan is insane - God love her. Lobin may or may not have several issues which need to be addressed by a professional, possibly a urologist and maybe a dermatologist since she's probably developed a rash from wearing used chaps she bought at Tractor Supply from a guy named Barry. Laren wears Depends (or maybe Pampers with Dora the Explorer on them but that's really none of my business). And Lill seems fairly normal except for the fact that she owns two (plastic) margarita pitchers (guess that's better than rubber?) which really when you think about it is not normal at all. And where is Laleen? Obviously not keeping up with my blog.

I am all for setting up an emergency Bar D camp meeting (and by the way LOVE our secret phrase Loan- "What the "L"?". You are a genius and genius and insanity go hand in hand you know.) I do have a couple um, disclosures I need to make. One, I'm not Irish either (well, maybe a little bit) although my favorite color is green. I am mostly I-talian which means my legs will be shaven, eyebrows plucked and nose hairs trimmed on a daily basis come hell or a short water supply so as not to frighten any small children or animals. There are other I-talian factors to my anatomy that I won't go into right now but you can ask my father-in-law and he'll tell you. (Wait, something is wrong with that statement.) And three I'm not great with alcohol. Two sips of wine and I'll be wrapped around my portable dance pole making pole impressions on my face while providing a slick of drool.

(Oh and five, I don't really have a portable dance pole I just said that to make myself sound more exotic but I do have a mop and a broom if that works for anybody.)


Karen said...

How did you figure it out? All these years I have been hiding the Dora undergarments, but I guess the cat (or the monkey)is out of the bag! God help me, it's like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders!

Lammy said...

Well hello fellow campers! I must apologize for being sorely negligent on keeping up with my dear sister-in-law's fabulous blog. I even knew that there was great "L" fun being had by all - because my husband follows the blog much closer than I do. I think it's his window into the world of women... not sure.

Anyway - I am finally caught up! Woohoo! I feel compelled to let Loan and Laren know that my blog negligence is due to my new job and the fact that I'm clearly not ready for my new boss to see what kind of insanity I have in my life!

So anyway - putting all that aside, I have thoroughly enjoyed catching up on the blogs and comments - and my kids keep asking what I'm laughing at. I keep just saying 'Michelle's blog' - and that seems to work until I laugh out loud again (they seem to accept Michelle's instability - but they really aren't ready for Loan, Laren, and chaps girl!)

I'm ready for an emergency intervention - pick the time and place - cause it's pretty much the end of May, Loan! Oh - by the way - love the boa and tiara! Will we get to wear those one day at camp?

I need to think about what skills I bring to the group (other than apparently providing Lill with a plastic margarita piture). I'm afraid to open that up like that - cause I know you all will come up with something for me...but, well, I'm too tired to worry about it. Working for the firm tomorrow. Congrats to all you "school-type" people! I SO miss that euphoria that the last day with kids brings! Have a fun day tomorrow!

Joan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Karen said...

Loan, if you haven't noticed, which I'm hoping you didn't, I don't need to pad my bra. I prefer using them as shoulder pads, which would mean that, once removed, they really do take the weight off your shoulders! But your idea of using Depends to wick away moisture is pure genius! I'll try it out and let you ladies know how it works before camp. That way we can spend more time sharing laughs and margaritas, but now that I think of it, I don't share margaritas.

And I think that the knitted shawl is meant to go with a pair of rubber chaps. And futhermore, I think that wool would be too hot. You should try using place mats. They work much better. I hear you wore a similar vest in your modeling days. By the way, how did the egg work as a hair conditioner? Did it make your hair feel shiny and smooth? Did the modeling agency want your expert hair advice as well as your photo on the front page of "Love Handles" magazine? I'll have to be sure to pick up the latest issue.

Joan said...

Hi Laren!

Shoulder pads? Are we playing football at Bar-D Camp? They will come in handy, though, as you have to push your way through the crowd of Kris Allen fans to get to the far end of the store where you'll find Adam's CD on the clearance rack at Wal-Mart with the black nail polish.

As soon as I finish typing this, I'm going down to the kitchen and grabbing the placemats off the table. You've inspired me, and why didn't I think of this before? I am going to design a matching vest and chaps! When is Lobin's birthday? I think I'll make them one size fits most, as Lobin may be flooded with requests to borrow them. And, as luck would have it, I have vinyl flowered placemats on the table! Just wipe them clean! I may have to open my own online shopping store.

I tried the egg on my head to make my hair shiny, but was I supposed to scramble the eggs first? I just used the leftovers from breakfast, and I don't see a real difference. It was quite a workout rubbing those scrambled eggs into my hair, and I don't think it helped that I added cheese and ham. But I'll keep trying! I'm going to land that cover shot for Love Handles Monthly, just you wait and see!